Why does it have to be this way?

It hurts because I feel close to you
It makes me sad because you are all I've got and sadder to know that I was betrayed and left by you, whom I truly consider as friends
It depresses me because I was never part of you after all


My other friends have their own uni stuff to do
Even though most of them are in the same uni, as far as I concern, rarely do they get as close as they were previously
They have their own goals to reach
Consequently, they spend more time with their own circle of friends from their faculties because they hold the same dream
And I believe this is reasonable since they see each other everyday, it shall make them closer and thus they share all their joys and hardships, which makes their friendship grow
We do catch up with each other, though it's only once in a blue moon....
not as often as I see you, but then it allows me to appreciate and honour my friends as they are... We didn't see each other often, yet we still could catch up.
And I cherish that, even though one of us will be leaving Mel to reach out to her dreams...
Indeed you may argue you want to see your other fren coz you don't see them as much as your uni fren...
BUT the question is, can you nurture both of them equally?
Look at what happened during the last holidays....
You don't even bother...
You can't possibly make a copy of yourself, or cut yourself into two, can you?
I don't know what you all think, but for me it's impossible to do such things
Yes, mingle with your other friends and see if your friends hang around with their uni friends as much as they do with you
CORRECT me if I am wrong!!!


Thinking of this leaves a deeper and deeper scar in my heart
After all it never exists
Such thing you called as our friendship never exists at all
You are taking me for granted
You set up a barrier between your friends
You only come to me because you still need me
Don't talk about brother
You never do such things to your brother at all....
Say I am WRONG.... dare you...
Look at how you interact with your other friends
if dats what a friend is...
Then what am I to you?
You don't treat me as you treat them
So it's clear that I never was your friend, was I?


True that I may have different interests from you
But that is not a reason to segregrate ourselves apart from studying
Assuming that I won't go ... a very likely answer to such a statement
Yet still there is no harm to ask, is there?
People may change their mind
Interest to a particular stuff doesn't grow instantaneously
It's due to support from people around you that it develops...
You learn to like it.
Did you even bother to ask? You don't
Argue with me...
Why didn't I take the initiative to do so?
I did... but wat was your response? Everytime I do so... what did I get?
Rejection.... Do you even know how it feels to be rejected?
I DO!!! and thus I try my best not to let you experience the same things
But in the end.... what?

Chances... you talk about chances....
they are always there yet you fail to seize them
Just to let you know, you've let another one pass by
Looking at how things go at the moment....
I don't think it will work....
A reminder, I am not taking back what I've said this time
Come what may
If that's how it is supposed to end, I will gladly accept it
It makes no difference anyhow
even though I may lose the battle.... at least I don't lose any more resources
You've won.....

Sadness keeps on seducing me
I don't even have the motivation to do anything
I have never been in such despair and anger before
I didn't ask much
loyal, caring and giving a sense of belonging
they are all common sense...
but which one are you?
Don't tell me you care for someone because there is a problem
if you really care, you shouldn't have let the trouble happen


This pain and agony.... after all I've said is still mine to bear...
You've won...
Needless to say.... I am the one suffering here myself....
Nevertheless, I should give you my gratitude for showing me how naive myself is.....